How I tried to burn down my brand new house…with bacon

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September 29, 2012 by taralynnehall

I tried to publish this post yesterday, but my mobile app deleted it. 😦

Wednesday morning, Husband requested bacon with his breakfast. Being the accommodating wife that I am, I attempted to make bacon for him. It was extremely unsuccessful. Like, Grease 2 unsuccessful.

It’s not that I’ve never made bacon before, because I have. Unfortunately, cooking anything at 5 a.m. has the potential to be dangerous. Especially for me.

See, 5 a.m. is much too early to realize that I put the bacon on the double burner–the one that has a small burner and a large on all in one. This means that the knob has two controls rather than one. So when I pointed the knob straight down thinking it was the very middle, it was actually on the very highest setting. Once I realized what I had done, it was too late for the very edges of the bacon, but I figured if I turned the heat down I could salvage most of it. So I reduced the heat and went about my merry way.

That is when Husband came out to the kitchen and pointed out that the bacon was burnt. Really burnt. Like, smoking up the whole kitchen burnt. I grabbed the pan to move it off the burner, but apparently I didn’t realize how much grease was in the pan…grease that promptly spilled right onto the still-really-hot burner. Aaaand burst into flames.

Now, I was taught basic fire safety, like any kid. Stop, drop, and roll, and all that. Unfortunately, my memory stopped at “Don’t pour water on a grease fire.” My mind kept going “Not water!” and I couldn’t remember what you were supposed to do.

Fortunately, Husband stepped in and covered the flame (oh right!).

He has not requested bacon since this incident.

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